


everything between

by orphan_account



Series: letters [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-12 00:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7912759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	everything between

R,

I was not related to you by blood.

I'm not related to anyone I know by blood, anyway.

I was related to you by something more.

But I took it all for granted.

Here's me apologizing. 

\-----

Our story started when my dad bought that truck from your mom.

I didn't think much of her at the time.

But then I met you.

You were only five at the time.

I was eight.

We spent more and more time over at your house.

It evolved into sleep overs.

And eventually we ended up living together.

That was when our story really got rolling.

\-----

You had a dog.

His name was Omar.

That dog was one of the true love's in my life.

But he was **your** dog.

And that was the first time I was ever jealous of you.

So we got another dog.

She was great.

Eventually your dog became our dog.

And my dog became our dog, too.

And that was the first time we ever shared something so important.

\-----

Your father died.

This was before I came along, but still.

He was not in your life anymore.

Maybe you never found this out, but he killed himself.

He didn't have a heart attack like your mom said.

At least not from the reasons you think he did.

I won't go into details.

I don't think you'd want me to.

I know you miss him.

I don't blame you.

Every year on fathers day things got very weird.

I don't blame you for that either.

\-----

Summer came around.

We went camping.

It was the first time I had fun sleeping in a tent.

I hope you had fun too.

\-----

I was always in trouble.

This means that you were in trouble a lot too.

Most of the time I goaded you into doing something.

Like that time with the chocolate and the broken cabinet door.

I'm sorry for that.

But I didn't feel guilty.

I still don't.

I know you did.

That was the biggest difference between us.

I was a bad kid, one that grew into an even worse adult.

But you never did anything truly wrong.

And that's the reason why I started to resent you.

\-----

There was one thing I did to you that I didn't fully forgive myself for.

I hurt you.

Physically.

And this particular time it wasn't an accident.

And to top it off, it was over something _stupid_.

For the rest of the summer I was confined to my room.

I felt like that was fair.

I certainly didn't trust myself around you anymore.

And that scared me enough to keep me in line for a while.

\-----

I remember the time we were kayaking and I left you behind.

I'm sorry I didn't come back.

I just wanted to prove that you had it in you to pull through on your own.

You couldn't.

And that's okay.

I can't do a lot of things.

But back then I was dumb.

And I did dumb things.

But I never meant to leave you like that.

I never meant to leave you at all.

\-----

My behavior got so bad that I got kicked out of the house.

I think that was absolutely justified.

My dad didn't feel the same.

He left your mom.

You effectively lost your dad a second time.

I wish I could fix that.

But I was set in my ways.

There was nothing left to do except go.

So I did.

\-----

We didn't see each other much after that.

It's fine.

I think you're better off that way.

After all, the less contact you have with me the better.

But I do wish we had parted ways on a better note.

At least then I wouldn't have to think about the whole situation as much.

It's been years.

There were so many good times.

But apparently the bad times won out.

That's just the price of living.

But we never really made things right.

I hope we can someday.

 

Sweet love,

J


End file.
